Week 19- Day 134

Began letting go of this blog because I didn't think many people were reading it, but I've gotten a few comments and decided to get back on. I'm finally walking on my own! No crutches, no boot. Dr. D gave me the OK last week to walk in sneakers, sandals, and even wedges! I'm in zero pain, and for the most part feel great with the exception of a limp I've acquired since not walking on my left leg for so long. Dr. D said it will eventually go away as I build the muscle up again. I hope it does because it sure isn't attractive!

Here is what my foot looks like now:

I've been using Bio Oil as well as Cocoa butter and Aquaphor for my scar. With the exception of a little redness here and there, it seems to be looking great. I'm regaining the ability to bend my toes but they haven't been able to fully bend on their own quite yet. 

I now place my left foot beside my right one and can't wait to finally look down at 2 normal looking feet. I am taking a break in between feet to give my left one some more time to get back to it's original state. I also need to get back to having a normal life again. This handicap one is a bit overwhelming. I have a whole new respect for those in a more permanent situation. IT IS NOT EASY.  

Week 13- Day 96

Here's another updated photo of my brand new beautiful foot. 

My scar is healing beautifully and Dr D says if I continue taking care of it the right way it will be barely noticeable in due time. I started physical therapy this week to help speed up my ability to walk. The shooting pain in my heel has been slowly decreasing and I'm able to bear more and more weight everyday. I'm using a boot but I am hoping to be down to my Draco shoe and eventually in my sneakers in no time. The exercises my therapist has given me are already working a great deal and I am able to move my foot around more freely without hesitation or pain. My only true obstacle at the moment has been moving my toes around. They are very stiff and unless I move them with my fingers, they hardly bend on their own just yet. Next week is another follow up with Dr D. Hopefully he'll be happy with my bone growth and the pin will come out! 

Week 12- Day 89

So I made it through week 1 of my second surgery. Unfortunately, I haven't had the privilege to stay home and rest, so back to work I went by day 3 of post op. The pain was pretty bad and I was still incredibly sore. I spent the entire day at work wishing I was at home resting. By the end of the week, I was experiencing a great deal of itchiness which is a sign of healing. During my 1st followup, Dr. D advised me that I yet again contracted an infection, which explained why I was in more pain than I should've been. I was immediately put back on antibiotics and he also gave me a boot so that walking would be a bit easier. I didn't write about it before, but during my surgery Dr. D had to insert a pin into the side of my foot because he still wasn't too pleased with my bone growth. I am to have this for another 2 weeks or so. Needless to say, this entire process has been a long and EXTREMELY frustrating one. For some reason, my recovery is taking way longer than it should and I'm slowly beginning to lose my mind. Being so limited in everything I do is taking it's toll, and trying to walk is painful because I've developed muscle atrophy from not using my leg in so long. Bearing weight has been an extreme challenge and I'm looking into physical therapy to help speed up the process. Dr. D inserted a cortisone shot into my heel to help with my weight bearing which worked great for a day or so, but I am still experiencing trouble. Granted, this pin is mostly what's making it so hard. Anytime I try to adjust my foot into a comfortable position, the pin gets into the way and I feel super discomfort. Below are some photos of my foot now. At first my swelling was pretty obvious, but it's died down a great deal over the last day or so. 

Week 11- Day 78 SURGERY DAY!

The day has finally arrived! Removal of my external fixator was yesterday and I was scheduled for surgery at 3:30pm.

Waiting almost half of the day to go in was pretty nerve wrecking, not to mention I was STARVING (You are not allowed to eat after midnight the day prior). Before I knew it, the moment had arrived and I was taken into the operating room.

I woke up in a fair amount of pain but was immediately given medication to make me feel more at ease. I was also forced to walk my first steps across the room with a cane which was pretty emotional considering the fact that I haven't walked in almost 3 whole months.

Unfortunately, once I got home, the anesthesia began to wear off and the pain along my incision line started coming right back. I was prescribed percosets and anti inflammatory pills; however, although it seems to calm the pain down, it still resides. I am taking my time with the weight bearing because although Dr. D gave me permission to walk, I am afraid I will irritate my fresh womb. Sometimes I'll use the cane to walk, other times I'll use my crutches. I am trying not to over do it.

I believe my follow up appointment is in one week in which the magic reveal will occur. Hopefully I will be able to supply some photos of my after. SO RELIEVED TO BE CLOSE TO THE FINISH LINE!

Week 9- Day 60

Pretty shitty day yesterday. Went to my follow up appointment and was told I had ANOTHER 2 more weeks to go. My foot is looking great (which I should be thankful for), and my bone growth is definitely progressing but Dr. D would feel a lot more comfortable if I grew a little more to prevent losing any length once the fixator is removed.

To say I was disappointed and upset is an understatement, but I know the decision was made with my best interest in mind. Well, March 24th is now my new scheduled surgery date. Here's to hoping for a quick 17 days!

Week 8- Day 58

Well, an entire month has passed and I've been making more and more progress every day. My days are subjective. Some are good, others are bad. I find that if I am off my feet , I have a much better day than those where I am walking (better yet, CRUTCHING) all around the house and/or office. This is where I stress how incredibly important it is to keep your foot elevated as often as possible. If I leave my foot down for too long, I am instantly incredibly swollen by mid to the end of the day. After my last infection, I was prescribed a different antibiotic (which worked), but unfortunately about a week or 2 later, it came back. This one was probably one of the worst ones I've had since surgery. I actually was swollen more than ever, and thick yellow puss as well as blood was seeping out. The pain was one of the worst, and I began to get really worried.

I was prescribed once again, a stronger antibiotic and the infection went away within the following 2-3 days. During my next followup, Dr. D cleaned up a lot of the dry crust from the infection (gross, I know. It also hurt when he was cleaning the scab off). He then proceeded to apply a purple antibiotic which would help heal and continue to fight the infection off. 

Only downside was my last X-ray which showed little to no bone growth. I was praying to have this thing off by now considering that the surgery is considered to be an 8 week process, but I was told by my Doctor that another 2 weeks was needed with the fixator to ensure my foot was ready to have the device removed. Needless to say, the ride home was NOT a good one; however, I have been making it a point to use my bone simulator as FREQUENTLY as possible. I have also been extremely on top of taking my calcium vitamins and I am even drinking milk way more than I usually do. LOL. I am so desperate at this point, I will do almost anything.

I guess you could say I am at the home stretch, and as exciting as that is...it is taking an EXTREME mental toll on me. At work, I am restricted because I am still on crutches. At home, I am restricted because I am still on crutches. My social life has pretty much become non existent, because I am on crutches. I feel like a prisoner in my own body and it is driving me insane. After the infection cleared up, I woke up one day feeling like I could try and apply weight on my foot. To my surprise, I felt little to no pain and was able to take my first steps in 3 months. I became a little overwhelmed with emotion, because I had missed walking so much. It was literally as though I was learning how to walk all over again, because the muscles in my leg are completely limp from not being used for such a long period of time. This weekend I took another shower in which I thoroughly focused on cleaning my foot and incision area very well. A lot of my scabbing peeled right off and I was able to take some dry blood, purple ointment residue, and dry puss right off. 

my foot is beginning to look almost normal again

much of the scabbing from the incision on my toe has come off leaving little to no scarring (thank God)

A normal 5 straight toed foot!!

As frustrating as this process has been, being able to look down and seeing a normal foot is so exhilarating. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine the day would come. Unfortunately, I have to do this ALL OVER again for my right foot, but seeing the final product on my left one will surely give me the boost to do the 2nd. My next follow up appointment is tomorrow morning. I will be advised on when the fixator will be removed. I am PRAYING SO BADLY for it to be next week. I want to get back to my life again. 

Week 4 - Day 28

Received some great news from my Doctor during my 3rd post op followup. I am officially done turning! After only 2 weeks, I reached full length and no longer need to turn. Its pretty surreal looking down and seeing a normal 5 straight toed foot. Now it's just a matter of my bone healing before the fixator can be removed. :)

Last week, I noticed my foot was starting to get very irritated. My incision was red and purple and yellow ooze was beginning to come out of it. I became alarmed and texted a photo to Dr. D who immediately arranged for me to come in for an emergency visit. Thank goodness, it was nothing too bad. I had just developed another infection. He prescribed me stronger antibiotics and the matter cleared up rather quickly. Other than that, he pointed out that I was still healing beautifully and I was even beginning to show signs of callus growth in my bone gap! Below is a photo of how it looked with the infection for anyone pursuing this surgery. Yes, it is gross...but you must always be attentive to ANYTHING alarming and inform your Doctor right away in case it could be serious.

The pain has seemed to calm down drastically since I stopped turning. I am still incredibly uncomfortable ( I mean, I have a device sticking out of my foot), but for the most part I am sleeping better and its becoming a bit more tolerable. 

Since I have gotten the OK to wet my foot, I've been making it a point to clean it thoroughly and softly. I use DOVE for Sensitive Skin to wash it and use a Q Tip for the hard to reach spots. The incision on my ankle which Dr. D took a bone graph from also has healed up nicely (as shown above). I still have the purple residue from the ointment he used during my last followup visit, it's quite hard to wash off. Other than that, all seems to be going well. My bone simulator has been starting to bother me lately, I get shooting pain in the area where my 4th metatarsal bone is. Dr. D suggested I give it a break for a couple days, but it's normal. He also suggested I take D3 K2 vitamins daily to speed up my healing process. 

I am feeling good for the most part. I just pray for a continued speedy recovery because this handicap life is not for me. I will strongly warn anyone pursuing this, that ALOT OF PATIENCE IS NEEDED. I will admit, I have had quite a few breakdowns recently because of how emotionally draining this process is. I have been very limited in almost everything I do. Everything is so much harder when you lose the use of one of your limbs, especially your foot. I am very independent and having to depend on others has been the biggest challenge for me in all of this. I have to keep reminding myself that this is only temporary, and my results will be everlastingly great. 

Week 2 - Day 19

I had my 2nd follow up appointment two days ago. Dr. D took my first x-rays since surgery and said everything looked great! No infections, I am healing well, and my toe growth has already been so noticeable since I started turning. Below is a photo of my toe right after surgery, a photo after 1 week of turning, and a photo today. Great progress!

Am I still in pain ? Yes very much. The turns itself do not hurt; however, after about 15-20 minutes the pain starts to set in and I can feel great pressure, burning, and shooting throbbing pain in the area where I am stretching the bone. Dr. D prescribed me pain meds, so I immediately take them to alleviate what I am feeling. It works for the most part, but I still feel discomfort. During my 2nd visit, he injected me with 3 needles filled with Novocaine. It helped for about 2 hours, but the pain came right back. I place ice bags for a little in between pain spurts and it helps distract me from feeling the throbbing. I also took my first shower today without covering my foot. I was extremely hesitant at first, but I made sure the water was lukewarm and cleaned the area with Dove soap for sensitive skin. It didn't hurt at all, I took my time and was very gentle. I also no longer have my foot covered in bandages. It's been rough seeing my foot in the state that it's in, but my friends have assured me that scarring shouldn't be an issue and I'll be fine if I take care of it properly. Here are some more updated photos I took today...

 (she's already past my pinky toe!)

 (I can actually see the top of all 5 toes!)

 (another angle showing how much growth I've already obtained)

 (my incision area where the device is)

According to Dr. D, I should only have 2 more weeks of turning and then I can begin to allow my bone to heal before it's time to remove the fixture!

Week 1- Day 10

Turn Day!!

Went to see Dr. D for my first official follow up. My bandages were changed and my foot was cleaned up (didn't hurt, just felt extremely weird because that area is still so sensitive). He said my toe looked good and was a little redder than he liked it to be so I am still to continue taking my antibiotics.

It was time to turn. I am to do 4 half turns every day for what he believes should take up to 3 weeks. One in the morning, two at lunch, and one at night. After that, it will take about 4 weeks (or more depending on my body) for the bone to fully heal before fixator removal time. The turns didn't hurt at all. I was also given a bone simulator which I am to wear for up to 8-10 hours every day. I was advised to wear it while I sleep since its the surest way for me to have it on for such a long period of time. If my time permits, I also wear it at work while at my desk (as shown below).

I am on my 4th day of turning now. Dr. D said I won't see much progress during my first week, but will definitely see a change during my 2nd. He applied alcohol and a purple cream which I assume is some sort of topical cream to help heal my toe. In my opinion, I already see a great difference.

As you can see above, my ankle is still a bit swollen from the bone graph taken out to begin the process of the turning on my 4th metatarsal. It doesn't hurt, again just swells up from time to time which Dr. D said is fine. 

Adjusting to the handicap life has been the hardest part for me really. I am extremely stubborn and hate depending on others, and this process has forced me to basically take a chill pill and sit back while others help me around. It's very frustrating to say the least, but I've been blessed to be surrounded by amazing people who do not hesitate to lend a helping hand. 

Driving hasn't been a problem being that I still have the use of my right foot. I will say that if I drive for too long, my foot tends to get aggravated and begins to swell. That's typically the case for anytime I leave it down for two long. I have to try and keep it elevated any chance I get. I guess the blood flows better that way. 

Occasionally, I get a sharp shooting pain up my toe and around the area where the fixator resides. I am not sure if that's normal and it seems to occur most often right after I turn my device. I'll have to ask Dr. D if this is a case for concern or just my body adjusting to my cranking. 

My 2nd follow up is in 3 days. I still haven't been able to bear weight on it although my doctor has suggested I try. It still feels too weird and once I press down too hard I feel the device and it freaks me out. I get a small introduction to some pain and immediately stop. Baby steps I guess, literally.

Week 1- Day 8

Feeling a lot better now.

I caught a small infection over the weekend which the doctor said is very common. He quickly prescribed me antibiotics, which I took immediately, and within 24 hours the discomfort and infection began to go away.

I noticed that my toe was turning a little too red, and the front of my toe was too. It was also a little TOO numb and my foot kept getting swollen to the point where I could feel my heart beating through it. Below are photos of when I first noticed the infection (warning: not for weak eyes)

It has been 3 days since I noticed the infection. The antibiotics had some small side affects which were pretty annoying (dizziness, weakness, nausea), but overall it was nothing I couldn't handle. 

Please notice how I refrain from using the word pain throughout this blog. I want to make sure those going through this experience (or at least are looking into it) don't immediately observe this process as the worst thing ever. If I use the word pain, it's because I truly mean it. Otherwise, if it's tolerable, I just use the word discomfort. 

I took these photos of my foot today. The redness has clearly minimized a great deal. I feel zero pain. At this point, I just get the occasional tingling (like when your foot falls asleep). I am also finding discomfort and some quite annoying tugging feeling from what I assume is my skin healing around the fixator. I keep feeling pinching and it startles me. I hope that once my doctor removes the stitches, this won't be such an issue anymore. 

When I took these photos, the #1 thing I noticed aside from the progress of the infection going away, was that I can finally see all 5 of my toes. Usually, when looking down, I see 4 toes with my mindset knowing the 5th was down there somewhere hanging out. Now, all 5 look right at me. Its a bit odd I must admit, since I am so used to seeing my unique feet, having them normal is a bit overwhelming. In a good way :)

My doctor said I was OK to return to work this week. I work a desk job but I hold a pretty important position at my office, so being out for such a long period of time isn't really on my agenda. It's been challenging getting around in the car driving and with crutches, but I am doing it. I come home INCREDIBLY EXHAUSTED, but I am doing it. I just make sure to keep my foot elevated whenever I can to avoid any unwanted swelling. 

I am super anxious about my followup visit this Thursday. Not only does my poor unwashed foot finally get cleaned up, but my stitches will be removed, crutches will be taken away (time to start bearing weight on my heel!), and most importantly WE BEGIN TURNING!. 

Day 3- Nightmare

Today was horrible.

Last night, I attempted to take a shower. Prior to surgery, I had set myself up with a detachable shower head, a shower chair, and protective foot covering since I cant get my dressing wet yet. It was pretty uncomfortable, but I got it done for the most part.

All of a sudden, the pain was unbearable. I could feel the fixator in my foot. It was as though someone was cutting the circulation off in my foot and at any moment it was going to explode. I couldn't sleep all night, and the medication had me all kinds of sick. I was nauseous, dizzy, and eventually spent all of today vomiting. At one point, I had nothing left in my stomach and was just throwing up bile. I contacted my doctor and he asked me to come in right away.

Thank God for my boyfriend calling out, I couldn't have done any of what I did today on my own. As soon as I got there, Dr. D advised me I had experienced a bad reaction to the meds. Since I am allergic to aspirin and ibuprofen, Tylenol was the only thing I could stick to at the moment.  He also undid my dressing to check if I had any infection, but thank God I was OK. Turns out, my dressing was on too tight, which was a big contributor to the pain I was experiencing. I felt immediate alleviation once he took it off and redid it. I was on my way back home already feeling better.

I took a short nap and decided to get up and take another shower. This time, everything went a lot smoother. It is incredible what a difference a change in my dressing made, because now I feel so much more comfortable getting around.  While redoing my dressing, Dr. D showed me my foot. I was hesitant at first, but was amazed to already see a difference only on Day 3 Post Op! It was pretty exciting to see a glimpse into my better future.

Day 2- Post Op

Today hasn't been as good of a day as yesterday.

Although I was able to sleep much better last night, I woke up in pain. I won't go as far as saying it was unbearable, but it was pretty bad. I can only assume that the numbing shots the doctor injected on the day of surgery is beginning to wear off because I am starting to feel discomfort and pain around the area of my 4th metatarsal where the external fixator is now located.

I took my medical shoe off in hopes of feeling some relief. It worked, just a little. Below is a photo of my still wrapped up foot minus the shoe.

I've been getting a lot of really freaked out reactions by my family and friends, but only because they truly were not aware of such a condition and how thorough the process in fixing it would be. I am not going to lie, sometimes when I look down at it, I get scared. I am petrified to how it will look when I visit Dr. D for my first post op appointment, and I am even more scared when it comes time to turn. However, I was already aware of all of this, and I just try to maintain a positive mind set because I know in the end it will all be worth it. 

Day 1- Post Op

I am a side sleeper, so being forced to be on my back all night and all day was quite an adjustment. I barely slept because I was so uncomfortable, but my foot felt perfectly fine.

Day 1 was great. I stood in bed for most of the day and only got up to use the bathroom. Getting up was the only time I felt any weirdness. As I would walk on my crutches, I could feel the blood flowing into my foot which created this odd tingling feeling. Again, no pain. Just a little uncomfortable. As soon as I got back into bed, I would prop my foot back up and once again apply the ice. The feeling went away almost immediately.

I read up on ways to help my recovery. Diet and no stress seemed to be the main focal points in a healthy speedy recovery. Since I had bone surgery, calcium seems to be #1 on the list of things that should be involved in all of my meals. Eggs, Milk, Tuna, Salmon, Orange Juice, Yogurt, etc.

I maintained my pill intake every 4-6 hours, and all seemed to remain great. The pain meds kept me in a groggy state, but did its job in keeping the pain away. My doctor called that morning to make sure I was doing ok, and once again assured me that if I needed anything, to let him know.

SURGERY DAY!

Monday, Jan 6, 2014...SURGERY DAY!

I woke up feeling a plethora of emotions. I was excited, but super scared. Anxious, but incredibly worried. How was I going to wake up? In pain? Would I be able to walk around in these crutches OK? Once I was home and on my own, could I make it?

I was scheduled to arrive at 12, where I was immediately given paperwork to fill out and a cup for a urine sample to insure I was not pregnant. I hadn't eaten since midnight the night before (strict instructions), so of course at this point I was starving but OK nevertheless.

Once I provided my sample,  I was taken to the surgical area where I was given a gown to wear and sat on a comfy chair nice and heated for when the anesthesiologist connected my IV and began feeding me fluids. The fluids were to help reduce any nausea I would obtain after surgery from the anesthesia. It made me really cold, but they did a great job in wrapping me up in blankets and keeping the heater machine by my side.

After speaking to the anesthesiologist and two doctors, it was time to wait for my doctor to arrive. Then, showtime. Once Dr. D came in, he went over with me once again what exactly was going to be done. He wrote his initials on my left foot, identifying it as the one being operated on, and we were on our way. I was asked to lie down on the table where I would soon be strapped in like an asylum patient and given sticky-like pads all over my chest for the heart and breathing monitors. I guess one of the nurses saw my face and noticed how overwhelmed I was, so he once again assured me "You're going to be just fine!".

For protocol purposes, the nurses as well as my doctor gathered around to announce my name, birth date, and purpose for surgery. Before I knew it, the anesthesiologist injected the medication into my IV and I was out like a light.

I went in for surgery a little after 1, and woke up in recovery at 2:45. I felt great. Incredibly groggy, but in zero pain. All I could remember was saying thank you over and over to everyone who took great care of me, and assured them of what a great job they all did.

By 3pm, my boyfriend had arrived to take me home. I was given a short lesson on how to use my crutches and was on my way. Before my surgery, Dr. D had already given me my pain medication so that when I arrived home, I would be all set to begin taking them every 4-6 hours to prevent any upcoming pain. My mom came over with some soup, and soon after I ate, I knocked out again and slept for the remainder of the night.

This was my foot propped up on pillows when I arrived home. I was to keep my foot elevated above my heart with ice applied for 30 minutes on, 30 minutes off.

Meeting my Doctor

When I first googled my condition and found it had a name, I was floored. I could NOT believe this was a common condition. I was not just some alien placed on this earth with such a birth defect, there were so many others just like me. I had never felt the kind of relief I felt when I realized I was not alone.

I first went to visit a podiatrist in New Jersey who advised me of the surgery needed to alter my problem; however, he quickly dismissed me by stating the surgery would be "too much of a hassle" and explained how "I've made it this far with it, I might as well live on and leave it alone".

TALK ABOUT DISCOURAGING.

Months later, I went into researching my condition again, and searched for better doctors in the New York area. This is when God blessed me with finding Dr. D. (not sure if I'd be violating any rules by sharing names, so I'll keep it at that). The second I met this Doctor, he made me feel so important. So at ease. He knew EXACTLY what I was going through, physically AND mentally. I left my consultation crying because I was so happy that I was finally able to find someone who could fix me, and who had actually been extremely excited to do so.

After examining my feet, Dr. D determined that I was not a candidate for one step lengthening. The difference in my toe size was too great, so the external fixator method was the way to go. I'm not going to lie, this discouraged me quite a bit. Seeing as though this process would not only take longer to recover from, it also would take A LOT of work and possible pain when it came to turning my device daily and required me to be off my feet for quite some time. Personally, I am the kind of person who can never stay still. I am always on the go. I actually don't know what the words "patience" and "relaxing" mean. So this entire process would be quite the experience for me.

Nevertheless, he kept reassuring me that I would be just fine. He explained how we would soon grow to be like family between my routine post op visits and him giving me his personal cell phone number to contact him if I EVER needed him.

We scheduled my surgery date, and I was ready to go.

January 6, 2014...the first day of the rest of my life.

Introduction

Hi! My name is BrachyFemmeFatale. I am 26 years old and live in NJ.

For almost my entire life, I have been battling Brachymetatarsia. It was something I got from my father who also suffers from it. Never in my life did I truly understand what my condition was, why I had it, and what I could do to fix it. To me, it was just something I got from my parents, like my eye color, my hair type, or my overall personality.

Simple pleasures in life such as wearing flip flops, going the the beach without water shoes, and/or keeping my toes above the sand were impossible for me to experience because of the sheer embarrassment I obtained over my condition. My friends would always ask "why the hell are you wearing socks, its 90 degrees out?!" and my reply would just simply be " Don't worry about me, I am comfortable", or some other lame excuse just to steer the attention away from my toes.

Here is a photo of my feet prior to surgery:

I've been dating my boyfriend for 10 years now, and it wasn't until nearly 3-4 years of dating that I finally decided to share with him why I had been hiding my feet from him for so long. Thankfully enough, he had already been aware of the condition and told me I had nothing to worry about. To him, I was still beautiful and had nothing to be embarrassed about.

As flattered and as truly good as I felt at that moment to have such an amazing man in my life, I was still petrified of showing my feet off in public. Unfortunately, not everyone in life is as nonjudgmental as my bf or as understanding. I couldn't bear the thought of having people stare at me whenever I tried to get a pedicure or wear cute revealing shoes. God, I cannot even begin to tell you how many beautiful pairs of shoes I passed in life that showed my condition. It was heartbreaking to know I could never wear something so pretty because of my ugly feet.

That was of course until a year ago ....when I finally decided to do research on my condition.